The Touchwood Project

We’ve done two groups of StrengthsFinder sessions and I thought I’d share the results since I’ve just finished the second and am on a real high from the energy, enthusiasm and connectedness that came from the discussion.

An all-women StrengthsFinder session

This second group was women-only, and after the results from this evening, I’m definitely keen to develop more sessions.

I went to an all-women’s university, Bryn Mawr College, and and I learned there to value enormously what can happen when you get a group of curious, motivated women together. Somehow the barriers fall away, laughing begins, and ties get established even between people who have never met before, as was the case today.

We started at 2pm, a small cosy group of 5, gathered around the fire crackling and the display of munchies to keep us going for several hours. We each read aloud our top strength, then asked the person to say to what extent they felt that accurately described them. Then for those of us who knew each other at least somewhat, we could offer our own view on how they saw a particular strength being shown in a person.

So for example, one woman who I’ve only met a few times had Developer as her top strength. The ‘Developer’ strength is about seeing unique qualities in every single person, valuing them, and then to some extent ‘developing’ that strength in the person. I could completely see that in her, even with my limited contact, because throughout the discussion itself, she was drawn to asking each of us about our strengths, taking note and offering encouragement that made each of us somehow feel incredibly special, that we each had such gifts that she recognized and treasured.

Another woman had Discipline as her top talent. Her strength meant she is very organised, tidy, and great at meeting deadlines. She talked about making a To Do list for the week and then crossing each task out as it was completed. The rest of us were in awe. We half-seriously asked if she could help us all get organised. Of the 5 of us, she was the only one actually on time for the start of the discussion.

A third woman had Activator as her top strength, which again was no surprise to me. She has been staying with us for a few days and regularly looks around for things she can do, projects to tackle. An almost restless energy radiates from her and already she’s looking at how we could plant a garden, fix my bike, and draw some sketches for Touchwood.

We each provided some food and drink and I made sure to have plenty of cushions, good music (ranging from Thievery Corporation to South African Legends) on the iPod, and the fire always topped up. You could see the sea from the two windows on either side of the fire, and a few candles burning on the mantlepiece. A good ambiance makes all the difference.

The value of discussing your strengths with others

I think the biggest value in discussing strengths with other people is that they point out to you ways in which you show that particular strength. So often, we take for granted what comes easily, so my top theme of Ideation, which is about loving new ideas and their connections, would never seem like a ‘strength’ until it was pointed out to me that I never would have started Touchwood with Malcolm without it.

Same strengths, very different interpretation

Oddly, all five of us had Input in our top 5, but they each were described very differently. For two of us, Input was about collecting information in many ways for the benefit of others — one woman was reading a book about Asperger’s because she knew someone whose child had it.

For another, it was about methodically and thoroughly processing data and facts in order to make sound, objective decisions, whereas I definitely skim and skip around to find nuggets of useful information.

At one point the question of ‘What do we do with this?’ was raised, and I mentioned the action items they give you after each strength. So I consciously post websites I think other will find useful or interesting on Facebook as part of developing my Input theme and helping others.

But I don’t have the time/it’s a luxury

What about feeling that spending £12/$15 on some personal assessment tool is self-indulgent or something that you’ll do someday but not anytime soon because you’ve already got so much on your plate?

As one member put it, it’s about improving your self so you can help others (this was the Developer one, and her second theme was Individualization, which is also about recognising abilities in every person and helping them develop their unique gifts — her staff are lucky).

We spend so much time criticizing ourselves for not doing more or better — why not spend that time looking at what we do well and making the most of it?

Overcoming the challenges to doing more sessions

So all in all, I definitely want to do more of these. The energy, laughter and sense of connectedness were just too good to not do more.

The main challenge is getting people to try it. I think a lot of people, dare I say especially British folks, are often pretty wary of things that smack of American self-help. They fear it’ll be a lot of navel-gazing and smarmy self-congratulation.

Others are nervous about talking about something that feels highly personal, leery of revealing things to people they don’t know — or perhaps worse, do know.

So I’ll need some help figuring out how it could work. I’d really like this to be a part of what we offer at Touchwood, particularly combining it with outdoor or craft activities so it’s all kept fun and easy-going.

Tags: personal development, Strengthsfinder

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